Look What You've Done
by skye3
Summary: This is my first try on GA! One night at Joe's, after having too many shots of liquor, Derek caved. But i guess he is allowed a moment of weakness once in a while. Set somehwere in S2. Please read and review!


Look What You've Done

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.

Author's Note: Hello! This is my first Grey's Anatomy fic and I hope you guys will like it. Set in Season 2, sometime after Derek did not sign the divorce papers and chose Addison over Meredith. _Italicized parts represent thoughts_. Here goes…

-0-0-

She sat at the far corner of the bar. She had the night off; that's what Bailey told her. But she did not remember having it on schedule so she's beginning to think that George, Izzie and maybe even Christina had talked to Bailey to give her the night off and presented to cover for her. They're such good friends, but they didn't have to do that. She scoffs, mocking herself. _You haven't been able to sleep for a week. You're walking in the hospital like a freaking zombie. You definitely need a time off. _"You're pitiful and pathetic." She said to herself.

She had intended to go home and just get some sleep. But somehow she ended up here. Normally, she would be sitting there in front of the bar; pouring her heart out to Joe. He's a good listener, but she really didn't feel like talking this time. And so after snatching a whole bottle of tequila from Joe, she sat there, drowning herself in her own misery and hoping that Izzie and Christina doesn't find out that she's here. They'd be really pissed off. She smiled sadly and took another gulp off her now half empty tequila bottle. And as she put the bottle down on the table the bell attached to the bar's door made a sound, indicating that someone had entered. Derek Sheperd walked in. _Great._

"Hey Joe, give me anything strong," he said as he sat down and put his bag aside. Joe stared at him, noticing that he too like Meredith looked like hell, before moving to pour him a shot of tequila slammer. While he prepared Derek's drink his eyes went to Meredith's direction to check on her. She was acting strange. Usually she would be deafening him with her drabbles, but not tonight. She just sat there, staring into space. And Joe noticed that the tequila was already half empty. "Here you go doc," he said handing Derek his drink. And then he went to the stock room to use the phone and inform George about Meredith. He didn't think that Meredith would be able to drive home safely in her condition. He didn't mean to tell on her but he was just concerned.

"Joe, give me another shot," Derek said as he saw Joe approaching from where ever he had been. And as Joe poured his drink, he turned around and looked around. He spotted Meredith sitting at the far end. He wasn't sure if she had seen him come in, but even if she did, she probably wouldn't want to talk to him. But that's okay, he didn't come here tonight to talk. He smiled sadly and turned to take a shot. "Give me another one," he said looking at the empty shot glass. "Dude, you messed up big time huh?" Joe sympathetically said as he poured more liquor for the surgeon that had just recently saved his life. Derek just nodded and took another shot. "More."

"Another one."

"Just keep filing it up."

It had been a long time since he drank this much. He got so wasted that time that he did not even make it inside his apartment. He, together with his best friend Mark, literally passed out in front of the door of the apartment. But that was a different circumstance. That time, he drank to celebrate his last day of internship. He drank often, socially, but never too much. But this time, he needed to be numb; he needed to unfeel all that he was feeling that was driving him to insanity. _Yeah, tell that to yourself. _

-0-0-

Meredith was still sitting there, her bottle almost empty, sneaking glances towards Derek every now and then. And even though she was very much drunk already, she still noticed that he already had too much and that, at that very moment, he was positively drunk. She glanced at her watch; it looked like it was already 2 in the morning, her friends' shift should be done in a while. She knew that she should just leave now to avoid making things more complicated. She reached for her phone and sent a message to Izzie to come get her at the bar. She knew that she would get a long lecture from Izzie this time, but she really was too drunk to drive home safely. She sat there, propped her head on one hand, closed her eyes and waited for Izzie to come for her. Shortly after, the bell on the door made a sound but she did not open her eyes, she did not want to see the disappointment and disapproval that would surely be there on Izzie's face. She waited, but nobody came to her, so she figured it was just another person leaving the bar so she continued to wait, keeping her eyes closed.

Joe was about to tell the person who had just walked in that the bar was about to close when he saw who the person was. It was Addison and she was now walking towards Derek. She was about to go home to the trailer when she noticed that Derek's car was still there and she figured that he must have gone to the bar. And true enough, he was here. She sighed as she sat beside him. When he didn't acknowledge her presence she just sat there are stared at him as he finished his shot of tequila.

"Okay, that's enough, c'mon lets go home, I'll drive." Addison said plainly as she got up and slowly tried to pull Derek off the chair. Derek didn't move and gave her a side glance, "You go home, I'll stay here."

"No Derek, we have to go. You have to get some sleep." Addison said more sternly this time. She saw on the board that Derek had a surgery scheduled at around 10 in the morning and he had to get some sleep right now if he was going to perform that surgery sober. "C'mon, that's enough," she said as she ripped the shot glass off Derek's hand.

"Why the hell can't you just leave me alone!" Addison jumped back as Derek suddenly got up and yelled at her. She expected to be yelled at by Derek when she came to Seattle but she wasn't really ready for it. She had expected him to be furious but not furious-drunk should he decide to yell at her. Everyone left in the bar immediately turned towards them. Meredith was already half asleep and she was so surprised that she jump a little her head snapping towards Derek's direction. Addison immediately regained her courage, "because I'm your wife, and you have a surgery to perform this morning, why in world did you even come here!" She shot back irritably. She was tired and she was getting frustrated.

That was it. Derek tilted. "Oh! That's it right? It's my fault. Why does everything have to be MY fault? Huh! Everyone sees me as the bad guy! You think I don't see it! Everyone in the hospital, and even in this fkng bar throws hateful glances at me! And it hurts, because THIS IS NOT MY FAULT! Y...You slept with Mark! And then you come here, messing with my life again! This is not my fault!"

"This is very much your fault!" Addison wasn't able to control her anger. She knew what she did was wrong but why she did it had something to do with how Derek had been acting and he still had no idea about it. "You weren't there for me! You were there but you weren't! And I was lonely, and Mark! Mark was there for me, he understood me! He cared for me and he showed it!"

Izzie entered the bar, prepared to yell the hell out of Meredith for doing this to herself but she was stopped at her tracks as she entered because of the heated exchange between Derek and Addison. Everyone in the bar was watching, stunned at what was taking place before their eyes, including Meredith. She did not even notice that Izzie had already arrived. Izzie immediately came to her senses and looked around for Meredith. And when she spotted her, she immediately moved towards her table. Izzie knew that Meredith didn't need to see this.

"You should have talk to me! You should have made me listen! I knew that our marriage wasn't doing so well, but you were the one who ended it! It was on life support and you were the one who pulled the plug!"

Meredith was staring so hard at Derek and Addison that she didn't notice that Izzie had begun to pull her off the chair. She was surprised upon realizing Izzie's presence that she accidentally nudged the tequila bottle making it fall off the table. And she shut her eyes as it made a dramatic breaking sound as it hit the ground. This made everyone turn their heads sharply from Derek and Addison to Meredith and Izzie. Even Addison and Derek stopped to look at them. Izzie quickly took Meredith and weaved though the tables and chairs and the people. "And you!" Derek suddenly said, making them stop at the door. "And you, Meredith," Derek's features softened as he said her name, "why did you have to be so beautiful…and…perfect…" Everyone remained silent staring from Derek to Meredith and then to Addison. Meredith just stared back at Derek, tears threatening to fall, after a while she pulled on Izzie, "let's just go, Izz". When she was settled in the car, that was the time when she allowed her tears to fall.

Derek sat back on his chair after Meredith and Izzie left. His head down, he was starting to realize how embarrassing and stupid he acted. He was angry at Addison, but she did not deserve what he had done to her tonight and God only knows what Meredith must me thinking and feeling right now. He didn't know what else to do; he tightly shut his eyes, hoping that when he opened them he would realize that this was all just a dream.

Addison just stood there, staring at the ground. But after a while she moved and looked at Derek who now had his face buried in his hands. And as much as she hated him tonight and how hurt she was, she knew that Derek did not really want this to happen. He was drunk, and this was truly also her fault. "C'mon, let's just go home and get some sleep." Addison said quietly and began walking towards the door. After a while Derek followed. They went back to the trailer. Addison drove. They will have a lot to deal with tomorrow.

-0-0- Fin -0-0-

A/N: Okay! Done! Thanks for reading. So you guys know what happened next (everything in season 2, which means he stuck with Addie and slept with Mer in the finale) haha! So, what do you think? Good? Bad? Would love to hear your comments.


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